Luka, the Balding Onion Thief
This is Luka, and he is sad because his hairline is receding. The only way to fix it is to rub onion juice into his scalp every night. That's why he has no choice but to sneak into people's houses and steal onions. As an amateur linguist, he also loves reading dictionaries while applying a hair mask, which means you're at risk if you have a home library (and even more so if it has a language section).
Consider keeping a bag of onions in your library, help Luka regain self-confidence!